in the end it comes to this (deuxmoulins) wrote,
in the end it comes to this

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old man lying by the side of the road, with the lorries rolling by

essays are back on track and i am happy again. you, lucky livejournal, missed the middle part of the week where i was a raging mess of essay nerves, where my heart beat too fast and i didn't think i had enough hours left in each day to go to class because there just wouldn't be enough time to get the writing done. now my head has cleared and it's okay.

i don't think my self-imposed drinking ban was doing any good. last night i fell off the wagon in a mild way and felt all the tension melt away. this is why people become alcoholics i thought.

finding a middle ground between fun and focus is not easy. if i starve myself of fun (as i did during the week), then i feel like i am punishing myself. but if i indulge myself by accepting every invite that comes along then i feel rushed for time and out of control.

poor the_antichris however, had to see me at my harried worst. we went on a lovely picnic on the waterfront though. while walking there with our tasty french bakery food, i managed to unwittingly lose a citron tart so it was fortunate that the rest of the food was good enough to suffice. also fortunate was the fact that chris spotted a dead seal in the harbour before it got too grisly with crowds of on-lookers and we made ourselves scarce. it was lovely to catch up with her even if i was an essay-strung-out-mess.
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